Sometimes I like boys. Sometimes I like girls. Sometimes I like people who don’t identify as either.
Liking people of any or no gender doesn’t make me greedy, it doesn’t make me more likely to cheat on my partner, and it certainly doesn’t mean I want to have a threesome with you and your girlfriend John, thanks but no thanks.
The thing is, there are so many harmful misconceptions surrounding bisexuality that many people who identify as bi are afraid to acknowledge their sexuality, and instead chose to be labelled as gay or straight. I’ve done it – sometimes telling older relatives that I could marry a man or a woman or someone in between becomes tiresome, so I just sit there and smile while they talk about my future husband. It’s often easier to let people believe that you fall into one or the other camp, rather than explain that you’ve pitched your tent somewhere between the two. Except it shouldn’t be. Bisexuality is a real, valid sexual identity and should be treated as such, especially considering the fact that more than half of the LGBTQ+ community identifies as bisexual.
So, with so many bisexuals roaming around, what does it actually mean to be bi? In my experience, people assume that the ‘bi’ in bisexuality means that we are only attracted to two genders, cis men and cis women. While ‘bi’ does mean ‘binary’ or ‘two,’ it doesn’t mean it in the way that most people think. Rather, bisexual people are attracted to people who identify as bisexual, like themselves, and people who identify as something else. Speaker Robyn Ochs describes bisexuality in the following way:
“I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
So as someone who identifies as a bisexual woman, sometimes I am attracted to other bisexual women, and other times I’m attracted to people who aren’t bisexual women. The wonderful thing about being bi is that I am not limited in my sexual or romantic attraction – I can have feelings for a person regardless of their sex or gender. Rather than only being attracted to a small portion of the world’s population, I now have the potential to be attracted to anyone! Does that make me greedy? Some people might think so, but I think it just means I have enough love in my heart to accept and be attracted to people as who they are, rather than what they identify as.